And why all these doubts and delays? Because we know not what
is behind ―― because there is no returning―― and because our mind
infers that all is darkness and confusion , where we have nothing but
uncertainty."
His appearance at length became quite altered by the effect of his
melancholy thoughts ; and his resolution was now finally and irrevocably
taken , of which the following ambiguous letter, which he addressed
to his friend , may appear to afford some proof.
DECEMBER 2O. I am grateful to your love , Wilhelm, for having repeated
your advice so seasonably. Yes, you are right: it is undoubtedly better
that I should depart. But I do not entirely approve your scheme of returning
at once to your neighbourhood ; at least , I should Iike to make a little
excursion on the way, particularly as we may now expect a continued frost,
and consequently good roads. I am much pleased with your intention of
coming to fetch me; only delay your journey for a fortnight, and wait
for another letter from me. One should gather nothing before it is ripe,
and a fortnight sooner or later makes a great difference. Entreat my mother
to pray for her son , and tell her I beg her pardon for all the unhappiness
I have occasioned her. It has ever been my fate to give pain to those
whose happiness I should have promoted. Adieu , my dearest friend. May
every blessing of Heaven attend you ! Farewell.
We find it difficult to express the emotions with which Charlotte"s
soul was agitated during the whole of this time , whether in relation
to her husband or to her unfortunate friend ; although we are enabled,
by our knowledge of her character , to understand their nature.
It is certain that she had formed a determination , by every means
in her power to keep Werther at a distance; and, if she hesitated in
her decision, it was from a sincere feeling of friendly pity , knowing
how much it would cost him, indeed , that he would find it almost impossible
to comply with her wishes. But various causes now urged her to be firm.
Her hushand preserved a strict silence about the whole matter ; and she
never made it a subject of conversation , feeling bound to prove to him
by her conduct that her sentiments agreed with his.
The same day, which was the Sunday before Christmas, after Werther
had written the last-mentioned letter to his friend , he came in the
evening to Charlotte"s house, and found her alone. She was busy preparing
some little gifts for her brothers and sisters, which were to be distributed
to them on Christmas Day. He began talking of the delight of the children,
and of that age when the sudden appearance of the Christmas-tree, decorated
with fruit and sweetmeats , and lighted up with wax candles, causes
such transports of joy. "You shall have a gift too, if you behave well
," said Charlotte , hiding her embarrassment under sweet smile. "And
what do you call behaving well? What should I do , what can I do, my
dear Charlotte?" said he. "Thursday night," she answered, "is Christmas
Eve. The children are all to be here, and my father too: there is a
present for each; do you come likewise , but do not come before that
time." Werther started. "I desire you will not: it must be so," she
continued. "I ask it of you as a favour , for my own peace and tranquillity.
We cannot go on in this manner any longer." He turned away his face walked
hastily up and down the room, muttering indistinctly , "We cannot go
on in this manner any longer!"
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